My August hiatus is over, and I’m back with a bang.
Well, not really. This thing is happening where the longer I don’t write, the more pressure I feel to do something incredible for my ‘comeback’, and then I just put it off again. First there’s nothing that’s good enough to write about, then I have too many ideas and I can’t choose. I wake up early to blog to start my day – craffle the morning away and then decide it’s too late to post anything. (Nobody reads things after 2, Meg. Everyone knows that, stupid. You’ll have to do it tomorrow.)
So, I’m calling collywobbles on myself, and just sitting here, in the sun, on my couch with a sleeping kitty next to me, and easing myself into it.
I see awesome things and think thoughts that I want to blog about all the time (in my head I’m probably the most prolific blogger there ever was), but when it comes to actually writing them up and pressing ‘publish’, I get cold feet. I think it’s something to do with coming from a publishing background – everything must be flawlessly perfect. I want my photos to be magazine quality, my writing to be the funniest, wittiest, most insightful read around, and I feel like if it’s not going to measure up to all of those things then I’m not even going to try. You’re not a failure if you never tried in the first place, right?
When people compliment me on my blog, or tell me how much they like a particular piece, I actually feel this weird guilty sort-of feeling, if you can believe it, because I don’t feel like I’m putting the best content I can out there. I fret about coming across as vacuous, or vain, when really I’m trying to grapple my way around a subject I feel really deeply about. I worry that I don’t have original enough opinions to warrant expressing them – they’re just a regurgitation of something I’ve heard somewhere else.
I guess what it comes down to is I’m putting too much pressure on myself to have the perfect blog, as as a result actually not blogging at all.
So, I’m gonna call bullshit on myself. Fuck off, blogging insecurities. This blog is meant to be something that builds me up, not breaks me down.
In light of this acknowledgement, here’s my disclaimer and a vow:
My news might not always be the newest news out there.
My pictures might not look like a Vogue spread.
My opinions might be a little stale and trite.
I might be the only one who finds me funny.
But I will, blog, damnit.
I will blog when I have a thought to share, or something to inspire. I will blog when I have a gripe or a groan. (Ok, maybe not so many of that one). I will blog when I find something to lol at. My blog might look like a mish-mash of looks and feels, but I’ll put it all out there, and maybe, one word of it all will strike a chord with someone. And then I will be glad that I did.
This isn’t the post I set out to write.
But hopefully it’s the first post of many to come.
Here blooms with spring a new blog.
P.S. A very special thanks to Urban Mnguni who took the time to tell me she was missing my posts. You gave me just the kick in the butt I needed to get up and going. Thank you. <3